O diplomat of great nation Hybrid — contact: hybrid.diplomat «at» gmail.com

Ramadan Kareem or How I Learned to Stop Writing and Love the Mosque

with one comment

Hello friends and colleagues, the HD is tucked away in his bunker writing a work, “not as an essay which is to win the applause of the moment, but as a possession for all time.” What is the critical opening phrase of this work?

“Now this is a story all about how Mesopotamia got flipped-turned upside down and I’d liked to take a minute, just sit right there, and I’ll tell you how A.T. Wilson became the British civil commissioner.”

Should be a fun ride these next few weeks.

The HD has decided to surface briefly to discuss the controversy (have you ever heard a Britisher pronounce “controversy”? Don’t do it while you’re driving or you might drive your Lolvo into a Lolcano!) surrounding the proposed building of a mosque two blocks away from Ground Zero in NYC.

In the battlosphere, Newt Skywalker and Sarah Palpatine have been markedly against buiding the mosque for a variety of emotional reasons. Indeed, the majority of the American public agrees with them (citation needed). NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg has etched a legendary position based on his own person history and idea of private property and constitutional rights. Andrew Exum has also charted a similar position based on the Constitution’s First Amendment and history. The White House and State Department have been silent on the issue, but have posted Bloomberg’s speech (in Arabic, *GASP*) on their public diplomacy website. Today, Charles Krauthammer has written from the Susan Sarandon/Natalie Portman perspective that just as we don’t build a liquor store near a school, we shouldn’t build a mosque near Ground Zero. Well, Mr. Krauthammer isn’t going to win the HD with the liquor analogy. Alcohol shouldn’t be near school campuses; they should be on them!

And from a financial perspective, David Frum may have just predicted the future with no mosque being built due to lack of funding:

The more I read about Feisal Rauf, the more I see a very dangerous kind of man … no, not the Islamic extremist kind of dangerous … but rather the kind of guy who can convincingly say, “$100 million? That’s nothing! I have a cousin in Abu Dhabi who could write a check for $100 million himself! Don’t worry about anything, leave it to me, I’ll get the money, that’s the easy part. You get the zoning rights, we’ll buy you out, all cash, easiest money you ever made.” The streets of New York are littered with the carcasses of dead developers who met and believed the Feisal Raufs of this world ….

Uh oh, if that happens, cut to Daniel Plainview as he beats to death Eli Sunday!

To conclude and move closer to the HD’s true sentiments on the issue, Greg Gutfeld has proposed building a Muslim gay bar next to the mosque. Legendary, right? Wrong, says the Cordoba House (mmm, Qdoba), the proposed builders of the mosque, on their twitter account: “You’re free to open whatever you like. If you won’t consider the sensibilities of Muslims, you’re not going to build dialog”. Wow, that’s richer than the Abu Dhabi oil sheiks who aren’t going to fund the whole mosquedoggle!

The HD has already mentioned the First Amendment, that “Congress shall make no law”… no law. But who cares if the government attempts to “deny private citizens the right to build a house of worship on private property based on their particular religion”? Who cares if building the mosque offends the majority of Americans? This is America! Americans are in the business of giving offense abroad and getting offended at home. It’s not that we shouldn’t build a mosque; it’s that we should build a McDonald’s!

Ramadan Kareem to all the HD’s Muslim readers and financiers. May you look ravaged throughout the day, set your alarm for 2 a.m., and gorge yourself until sunrise!


Written by hybriddiplomat

August 13, 2010 at 11:44

One Response

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  1. epic.


    August 13, 2010 at 20:39

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